And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think my moral compass just broke
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
