I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
