Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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