Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize