My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
