Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
