Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
