He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
