we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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