it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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