Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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