took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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