how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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