hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
