have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He had one of those small greek statue penises
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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