She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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