Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
