She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
