Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:26am: come over

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

  (248): View more from Michigan

  4:11am: mnlodp

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

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  (248) 3:26am: come over (847): you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over (248) 4:11am: mnlodp (847): dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over http://tfl.nu/tbh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1846) Bad night (963)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (622) Bad night (2535)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You stay classy.

  (352): View more from Florida

  The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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  (352): I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF. (904): You stay classy. (352): The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on. http://tfl.nu/3w00
  Replies (18) Good night (773) Bad night (4686)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.

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  (484): Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me. http://tfl.nu/3y7i
  Replies (6) Good night (599) Bad night (4156)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.

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  (616): margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label. http://tfl.nu/4zf6
  Replies (10) Good night (942) Bad night (4189)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.

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  (801): don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy. http://tfl.nu/h3zi
  Replies (16) Good night (7102) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.

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  (850): You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line. http://tfl.nu/m4ec
  Replies (16) Good night (1226) Bad night (4545)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.

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  (240): i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with. http://tfl.nu/66qi
  Replies (8) Good night (3927) Bad night (955)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Where else am I to apply my creativity?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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  (303): Where else am I to apply my creativity? (1-303): I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start. http://tfl.nu/ttid
  Replies (5) Good night (3140) Bad night (822)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"

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  (508): Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit" http://tfl.nu/xujf
  Replies (8) Good night (4437) Bad night (1656)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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  (510): After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip. http://tfl.nu/y98z
  Replies (4) Good night (1448) Bad night (1761)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be

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  (704): Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be http://tfl.nu/xbn0
  Replies (10) Good night (4946) Bad night (1591)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT

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  (828): HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS. (336): TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT http://tfl.nu/5rl9
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (507)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.

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  (416): BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me. http://tfl.nu/xkbl
  Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  They have marijuana tests too!

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  (256): Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know. (256): They have marijuana tests too! http://tfl.nu/avoj
  Replies (9) Good night (1141) Bad night (349)

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