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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What'd you do?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Its more like what im about to do.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

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• (714): View more from California

  Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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• (845): View more from New York

  She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.

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  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night

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• (650): View more from California

  now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs

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• (077): View more from

  I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night

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