I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
