i need an iv and a liver transplant
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am naked and annoyed.
These tits shall not be calmed
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