Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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