yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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