And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize