it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
