i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
