People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
