I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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