what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize