I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize