Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
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So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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