i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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