I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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