Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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