I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
