I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
