OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
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I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
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you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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