There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
