marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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