I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
