Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
