Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
