You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
