he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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