I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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