sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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