I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
