Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
