I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
