So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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