I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
