We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
