do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
