I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
