i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
