Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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