oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize