I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
