a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
