You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
