WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
