tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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